Reflections #1 Choices, Friends and Commitment

30 Oct

Isn’t it funny how much freedom we really do have in the world? The choices that we make are the ones the define us. Consciously or not we chose to say things that can be with good intentions, but can be misinterpreted.

Take the “friends” category. How do you know when someone is truly a friend? A friend is someone who will talk to you and contact you just to say hello. Someone who wants to be near you and have the presence of you. There doesn’t have to be a purpose to the phone call or meeting. Just a simple, “hey I wanted to know how you were because I truly care about you.” That is all. There’s no being fake or forcing people to say things just because they want to know the gossip. If someone is genuine and truly cares about you, there will be conversations. What’s even better are genuine deep and thoughtful conversations about life, the world and state of affairs.

It sucks when you want the relationship to happen, but the other person will not put the effort. But like ABC says: during our early 20’s we want to be everyone’s friend and in our late 20’s we eventually have to weed out who our real friends are because we can’t and don’t have the energy or time to be a friend to everyone. We eventually have to pick out who deserves our time and effort. People do change even though you don’t want them to. A person that you met 15 years ago is not the same person now. Sometimes you want people to change. You care for them so much and want to be a part of their life so badly, but there’s something about them that isn’t right to you. No matter how much time and effort and heartache you put in, they will not change. No matter how much you tell them that you are there for them and you are willing to help them, they will not change. Change has to come from within. Todo con su tiempo. Quien decide cuando la rosa florece? You really can’t make people change. And perhaps its even you that has changed or needs to change. Your own change has to come from within because you really have to want it.

ABC quoted Erik Erikson’s philosophy in that during their 20’s and 30’s people want to commit. Buying a house, getting married, having a kid, choosing the correct career all define us and are also commitments. Its an inner urge to be want to commit. But is it what we should be doing? Should we be committing because that what our brain is telling us to do? And if you don’t commit does that make you a hippie with no sense of direction in life? And if you don’t commit are you still walking around with the urge and the desire to commit? It goes back to the freedom of choice. We have the power to make choices. There is not specific right or wrong answer. Our life is like a piece of clay and its up to us to mold that piece of clay into what we want it. Every move, every word, every action is shaping that piece of clay. Its up to us to chose how we are going to shape it.

ABC should be a preacher or something along those lines…


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