Reflection #5 Money

16 Dec

Money makes the world go ’round. True that. Money keeps us sane. Eh.

How sad is it that I have spent so many years of my life wasting money? How was it possible that I used to make less than $3,000 a year as hostess and that got me through paying my bills and college? Then I got a tiny bit of money and “poof!” all the money started flying through me. All the clothes that I bought and never wore, the ones that sat in my closet for months and years before I finally decided to send to Mexico, the food I bought just because I was lazy to make myself some food, the water bottles I bought because… why?, the expensive gifts I bought for people I thought were my friends, but in reality weren’t, ewwww. Once I started making the big bucks as a professional, I went crazy with all kinds of makeup, pricy shoes, gym memberships, car washes (what?!) and such. Once I was laid off and began collecting almost $2,000 a month of unemployment checks, I still kept at it. Of course I cut back on a few things, but I did 2 stupid stupid things. #1 I kept spending #2 I didn’t save jack shit. When the unemployment checks ended…oh boy. I had a to get a job that forced to really go back to basics. OK, so what did I need and what want? Or so I thought… After spending Thanksgiving break analyzing where my money is going, I realized that I sucked horribly at finances. There had been some smart spending considering that I had thrown out a lot of clothes and shoes which allowed me to figure out that I don’t have a lot of clothes and shoes. But what really killed me was food. Baaad choices again. I wasn’t looking hard enough for coupons or deals. Just shopping a lo pendejo while the economy was in the dumps.

I don’t regret making a life choice that allows me to make a fraction of what I should be making. I’m thankful that this choice that I have made has allowed me to realize and truly appreciate money. I guess it all got to my head. I almost truly lost it for a bit. After growing up poor, all you want is money. Once you have it you go crazy like those people that win the lottery. But now I’m back nicely grounded in the ‘hood. I’ve been poor all my life, what’s the difference now? Besides, everyone is poor right now so who cares if I join everyone else?

Its so true when people say that money comes and goes. I forced the money to go. I forced myself to realize that money isn’t everything. A dollar can go a long way if cultivated and appreciated correctly. Now I WAIT for coupons in the Sunday paper, JC Penney coupons, I shop around, a canceled my gym membership and do group activities, I eat what my mom makes or cook something simple (snacks work too), I buy my own fruits and vegetables instead of cookies, I use a Klean Kanteen for a water bottle, I avoid gift cards as gifts even though it means I have to shop around harder, and I’m looking around for a side job. December and January are hard for me because we had 3.5 weeks off during November and December. The checks for hourly school employees are very slim.

So yes money makes the world go ’round, but it shouldn’t be the sole basis of everyone’s life. Now all I need is some health insurance because right now my doctor is next to El Toro on 1st and Bristol…


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