Archive | April, 2013
29 Apr

Angelica Vale continues to be on the top of my favorite comedians list with this old, but recently discovered clip of her Natalia Lafourcade imitation.

 

 

Here is the original video

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Things I Learned From Gay Men

20 Apr

Things I’ve learned from Gay Men

 

I have spent my life surrounded by gay men. My earliest memories of being in Mexico involve a gay man playing with some toys and me at my aunts house. The other involves the same gay man mopping the living room while singing out loud. My parent’s hometown has evolved from having a handful of gay men to a town full of gays and lesbians to a gay mayor. Its such a rare and unique town in Mexico – let alone any town south of the Canadian border.

The town’s gay mayor has announced his bid for re-election. His re-election possibility is extremely high. Before he became mayor, he was already a close friend of my family and myself. We went to bars, clubs, and took him to Velvet Lounge when he would come to CA. In his honor, I complied a list of things I have learned from gay men throughout my life.

1. Listen to endlessly happy poppy music even if there is only one repeated line in the whole song. If the world doesn’t make you smile then music should.

2. Be a diva (sometimes) . Because sometimes it really IS all aobut ME no matter where or with who I am with.

3. Embrace being different.

4.  To detect “queens” and “kings” in a crowd

5. How to sing while cleaning the house.

6. Practice makes perfect- or makes you better at something. We all start somewhere. And we all need each other as a community of support to help us with that first step.

7. Madonna and Lady Gaga are the ultimate queens. Britney who?

8. How to embrace the 80’s. I used to hate the 80’s with all the mismatched clothes. Now I love Timbiriche and their rather “fashionable” clothes.

9. First impressions do count.

10. How to have a sense of humor even when people around you are making fun of you.

11. Be picky when it comes to shoes, food, and concerts.

12. Have fun during the week.  Going to the bar on Wednesdays? gasp!

13. Treat my friends like royalty and expect nothing in return.

14. We are all bisexual. Some are are just more than others. Some are less than others. It just depends on where you land on the spectrum.

15. When we are drunk we all listen to banda or corridos. You can’t go against nature.

16. How to sit at the fun table at a party. If not, make it the fun table.

17. How to tell that Ricky Martin was gay even when he was with Menudo and he officially came out of the closet.

18. Vicente Fernandez looks like a pervert when he looks at women. And he really is gay and slept with Juan Gabriel (lesson also learned through having tons of mariachi friends),

19. Everybody loves cumbia- we just have to dig deep sometimes to let that love out. “No te metas con mi cucu”

20. Novelas- impossible to ignore. So might as well tune in for a few minutes once a week to see whats going on. It doesn’t hurt to get some eye candy while you are at it.

21. Thalia- love her or hate her . There is no in between.

 

10 Signs Your Friend is Toxic

17 Apr

Marc and Angel Hack Life – You guys got it right again!

Toxic friends complicate your life.  These people are more than a nuisance, they’re parasitic.  Precious time slips away as you deal with their negativity; and you’re left wondering why you feel so despondent.  If you’re ready to simplify your life, you can’t condone these toxic friendships any longer.

What Toxic Friends Do

  1. They drain you. – You feel psychologically and emotionally depleted after spending time with them, instead of uplifted.  (Read Emotional Blackmail.)
  2. They are unsupportive. – You’re afraid to tell them about new, important aspects of your life because they’ve been unsupportive or downright rude about your ideas in the past.
  3. They are up to no good. – They regularly partake in activities that are morally unjust.
  4. Their values and interests are opposite to your own. – Dissimilar value systems often mix like oil and water.  This doesn’t necessarily mean the other person is wrong, it just means they aren’t right for you.
  5. They are unreliable. – They always break their promises.
  6. They only contact you when they need something. – Otherwise you never hear from them.
  7. They aren’t meeting you halfway. – If you are always the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with them, but they never return the favor and attempt to go out of her way for you, there’s a problem.
  8. They are jealous of you. – Jealousy is:  “I want what you have and I want to take it away from you.”
  9. They have zero ambition. – Beware; a lack of ambition can be contagious.  As the saying goes, “You can’t soar like an eagle when you hang out with turkeys.”
  10. They constantly drive you to moments of insanity. – You catch yourself daydreaming about how good it would feel to throw a banana cream pie in their face.  ;-)

My Story of Toxicity

Here’s why I know how bad these friendships can be:  I’ve been on both sides of the court.  Yeah, I have my share of victim stories about friends who were friends only if I agreed with them and gave them the spotlight.  I’ve got tales of woe about past friends who were fabulous and fun, provided I didn’t try to cut into their time by (gasp!) spending time alone and having other friendships.  (You know, having a life outside of them?)

But the truth is I’ve also been a terrible friend at times, and I realize this.  In the past I have neglected some friendships by relying on the other person to stay in touch instead of reaching out myself.  Some of these friendships withered away over time because of my toxic behavior.  Bottom line:  Toxicity is a two-way street – you have to be a good friend too.  (Hold this thought; we’ll come back to it.)

How to End a Toxic Friendship

In my experience there are two ways to end a toxic friendship:  quickly and painfully or slowly and awkwardly.  Neither is fun, neither is neat, and neither is easy.

If you still want to keep this person in your life, just to a lesser degree:

  1. Stop responding to fake crisis calls. – If you don’t drop everything to take their “I’m so devastated!  My boss gave me a look that I think means he secretly hates me and that jerk from marketing wore the same shirt as me” calls, they’ll find someone else who will.  Or they’ll deal with it.  Either way, it’s okay to step back and get off the first alert calling list for non-emergencies.
  2. Take positive control of negative conversations. – It’s okay to change the topic, talk about you, or steer conversations away from pity parties and self-absorbed sagas.  Be willing to disagree with them and deal with the consequences.
  3. Demonstrate that you won’t be insulted or belittled. – To be honest, I’ve never had much luck trying to call toxic people out when they’ve insulted me.  The best response I’ve gotten is, “I’m sorry you took what I said so personally.”  Much more effective has been ending conversations with sickening sweetness or just plain abruptness.  The message is clear:  There is no reward for subtle digs and no games will be played at your end.  (Read In Sheep’s Clothing.)
  4. Be brutally honest. – Some people really don’t recognize their own toxic tendencies or their inconsiderate behavior.  You can actually tell a person, “I feel like you ignore me until you need something.”  You can also be honest if their overly negative attitude is what’s driving you away:  “I’m trying to focus on positive things.  What’s something good that we can talk about?”  It may work and it may not, but your honesty will ensure that any friendship that continues forward is built on mutually beneficial ground.

If you just want to completely end your relationship with the person in question:

  1. Stop taking their calls completely. – If you’re stuck seeing them on a regular basis, like a coworker, keep things on a purely professional level.  Find a reason to leave and excuse yourself as needed.  It’s passive aggressive to expect avoidance to handle the problem, but it’s an important component.  You can’t cut ties if you still chat on a regular basis.
  2. Firmly tell them you’ve had enough. – If you’ve decided it’s time to cut a truly toxic influence out of your life, you can let them know honestly (without being cruel).  “I just can’t be friends with you right now” isn’t fun to hear, but it has the benefit of putting everybody on the same page.
  3. Make new friends worth having. – Seriously!  Give your time to friends you connect with and enjoy.  The long shadows of toxic friends shrink considerably when you’ve got better things to do with your time than worry about their negativity.

Finally, Be a Good Friend

It doesn’t help to cut toxic friends out of your life if you’re not ready to foster quality friendships.  On occasion, you may find that the toxicity of a friendship drains away when you start being a better friend yourself.  Honestly, I’m not trying to preach; this is something I’m working on in my life.

Make that first call, offer a genuine compliment, schedule a fun outing with another person in mind, send that ridiculously funny card for no real reason – there are tons of ways to nurture your friendships.  When you’re surrounded by good friends and good intentions, it’s amazing how pettiness and toxicity simply evaporates.

 

Saul D. Alinsky

14 Apr

“teach others to believe by believing in yourself first” – Saul D. Alinsky “Rules for Radicals”

Quetzal quote

9 Apr

“Songwriting is storytelling. A song as a sonic and literary manifestation is life’s soundscape, a unique memento, as well as a powerful political tool. Without question, music is an important historical text. A person’s life views, triumphs, struggles, and dreams can be poured into a song.”
-Martha Gonzalez from Quetzal

Selena Tribute Band from CA!

5 Apr

Why hadn’t anyone done this before? Seriously! Some shaky vocals in the beginning, but hey that voice is difficult to imitate!  I want to go see them 🙂

http://www.angelfire.com/music/SELENAFOREVER/Other/CLFBand.html

 

Happy T-Rex Day!

2 Apr

Happy Act Like a T-Rex Day! Flail your tiny arms while poking fun at mammals. (They’ll never last!) – Thinkgeek.com