Archive | June, 2015

11 Ways to Spot an Authentic Friend

24 Jun

Oh yes I like this one!  #6 and #7 are very powerful and have proven to be incredibly important to me:

from: http://www.powerofpositivity.com/11-ways-to-spot-an-authentic-friendship/

Here are a 11 ways to spot authentic friendships:

1. They accept everything about you, including your flaws.

They don’t want to change you; they embrace everything about you, from your quirks and flaws to your best personality traits. That doesn’t mean they have to particularly like or agree with everything you say and do, but they don’t bash you or try to alter your personality, either. You feel like you can breathe a big sigh of relief around them, because in a sea of billions of people, you’ve found one person who sees the positive things about you even when you don’t see them yourself.

2. They stick with you through both the good and bad times.

This one probably best distinguishes a fake friend from a real one; in hard times, a true friend would never dream of leaving you in the shadows alone. Instead, they offer to help you however they can, and bring you back into the light again. Fake friends often bail on you because they only wanted to stick around when things went well for you, and felt like helping you through your problems was a burden for them.

3. They are happy for your successes, and congratulate you when you reach a new goal.

Fake friends feel jealous and contemptuous when you achieve something exciting in your life, but true friends will celebrate your accomplishments with you. To know if you’re dealing with an authentic friendship or not, just notice who sticks around when you reach new heights in your life. Some people will try to tear you down, but the real friends in your life will feel happy for you.

4. You feel totally comfortable around them, and they probably know things about you that many others don’t.

They know your best kept secrets, your wildest dreams, and your unique quirks that you only share with people you feel most at ease around. They know all the details about your love life, your most cherished childhood memories, and all those embarrassing stories that you wouldn’t share with just anyone. They want to know you to your core, not just on the surface. This separates a true friend from a fake one in many ways.

5. They meet you halfway – they don’t expect you to always be the one to reach out to them.

You don’t have to call or text every time you want to meet up; they also show interest in hanging out with you, and contact you often to catch up. You don’t feel like you have to chase them in order to keep them in your life – they put equal effort into your friendship, and make time to see you. They don’t only talk to you when it’s convenient; they reach out to you because they truly care about you as a friend and want you in their life.

6. They make you feel happier and more alive, not drained and stressed.

After seeing them, you feel more rejuvenated, vibrant, and excited about life, not the opposite. Authentic friendships will be a perfect energetic match between two people; otherwise, one person will be giving the other one energy, which means that you have an energy vampire on your hands. To know if you have a true friendship with someone, just pay attention to how you feel after meeting up with them. A real friend will make you feel good about yourself and life, not depressed and uninspired.

7. They tell you the truth about things, even if you may not want to hear it.

They don’t tell you what you want to hear; they never sugarcoat anything just to appease you. They tell you the truth, even if it may hurt. And, you’ve learned to appreciate this, because not many other people in your life will cut to the chase and tell it like it is. They tell you the truth not to cut you down, but to help you make the right choices in your life and become a better person because of this.

8. They don’t blow things out of proportion when you make a mistake – they forgive you.

They don’t expect perfection from you, and you don’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them just to gain their approval. They know that you will slip up from time to time, and you don’t have to give a long apology. They just put it behind them, and know that you have good intentions despite whatever mistakes you might make.

9. They don’t talk about you behind your back.

Real friends NEVER gossip about you when you leave the room; they act like an adult and confront you personally if they need to talk to you. They respect you enough to not spread rumors and tarnish your reputation behind your back; they would rather smooth things over with you and have a rational discussion face-to-face.

10. They allow you to have other friendships without getting jealous and possessive.

Real friends feel confident enough in your friendship that they don’t have to resort to jealousy and trying to control your life. They give you freedom to pursue other friendships and activities in your life, because they know that your friendship is rock solid. They realize that you don’t have to be in their company 24/7 in order to validate the friendship.

11. You have so many inside jokes and funny memories with them that you’ve lost count.

You have such a close relationship with them that you’ve spent countless hours together just being silly and laughing about nothing, and in turn, you’ve created so many unforgettable memories that will last a lifetime.

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10 Types of Friends Worth Fighting for

24 Jun

from: http://www.marcandangel.com/2015/06/17/10-types-of-friends-worth-fighting-for/

10 Types of Friends Worth Fighting For

10 Types of Friends Worth Fighting For

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”
― Helen Keller

This post was inspired by three emails I received this morning, all of which share a similar theme about friendship.  Below I have shared a small excerpt from each (with permission).  I know you will appreciate them:

  • “Kayla, my 12-year-old daughter, speaks fluent sign language because her best friend, Megan, who she grew up with from the time she was an infant, is deaf.  Seeing their genuine friendship evolve and grow over the years truly warms my heart.”
  • “My younger brother, Greg, spends most of his free time at school hanging out with the football team – he’s actually been working out with the team and everything.  Greg has a mild case of autism.  About a year ago my mom was ready to pull him out of school and have him homeschooled due to excessive bullying from peers.  One of the popular football players, who had stood up for him in the past, heard about this, explained the situation to his teammates and friends, and stood by his side until the bullying stopped.  Now, a year later, he’s just ‘one of the guys.’”
  • “Yesterday my sister and I were in a pretty bad car accident.  Luckily both of us were wearing our seat belts and didn’t have any major injuries.  My sister is and always has been Mrs. Popular – she knows everyone.  I’m the complete opposite – an introvert who hangs out with the same two girls all the time.  My sister immediately posted a comment on Facebook and Instagram about our accident.  And while all her friends were commenting, my two friends showed up independently at the scene of the accident before the ambulance arrived.”

Each of these emails made me smile because they reminded me of the power of true friendship.  There’s honestly nothing more beautiful and meaningful in this world.

The author of the third email excerpt above ended her email with this line:  “I know I don’t have a lot of friends, but I’m sure grateful I have a couple worth fighting for.”

And that’s exactly what I want to reflect on in this post – 10 types of friends worth fighting for…

1.  Friends who make time for each other.

There are countless intricacies to every great friendship, but the foundation is always incredibly simple: making time for each other.  The key is to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you.  Don’t walk away when the going gets a little tough, don’t be distracted too easily, don’t be too busy or tired, and don’t take them for granted.  Friends are part of the glue that holds life and happiness together.  It’s powerful stuff!

So put down the smart phone, close the laptop and enjoy each other’s company, face to face, the old fashioned way.

There are few joys that equal a good conversation, a genuine laugh, a long walk, a friendly dance, or a big hug shared by two people who care about each other.  Sometimes the most ordinary things can be made extraordinary simply by doing them with the right people.  You know this!  Choose to be around these people, and choose to make the most of your time together.

2.  Friends who are willing to put in the necessary effort.

Healthy, long-term friendships are amazing, but rarely easygoing 24/7.  Why?  Because they require flexibility and compromise.

Two different people will always have two slightly different perspectives about the same situation.  Resisting this truth and seeing the hard times as immediate evidence that something is catastrophically wrong, or that you’re supposed to see eye-to-eye on everything, only aggravates the difficulties.  By contrast, finding the willingness to view the challenges as learning opportunities will give you the energy and strength you need to continue to move forward and grow your friendship for decades to come.

3.  Friends who believe in each other.

Sometimes we see our worst selves…. our most vulnerable and weak selves.  We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong.  Someone we trust.  That’s what true friends are for.

Simply believing in another person, and showing it in words and deeds on a consistent basis, can make a HUGE difference in their life.  Several studies of people who grew up in dysfunctional homes but who grew up to be happy and successful show that the one thing they had in common was someone who believed in them.  Be this ‘someone’ for those you care about.  Support their dreams.  Participate with them.  Cheer for them.  Be nothing but encouraging.  Whether they actually follow through with their present dreams, or completely change their minds, is irrelevant; your belief in them is of infinite importance, either way.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)

4.  Friends who face challenges and weaknesses together.

When we honestly ask ourselves which friends have helped us the most, we often find that it’s those special few who, instead of giving lots of advice, specific solutions, or quick cures, have chosen rather to share in our challenges and touch our wounds with a listening ear and a loving heart.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of pain and mourning, who can tolerate not knowing or having all the answers, not curing and fixing everything in an instant, and instead simply face the reality of our momentary powerlessness with us, that is a friend worth fighting for.

5.  Friends who are gentle and compassionate through life’s changes.

Be gentle and compassionate with your friends as they evolve and change.  Mother Nature opens millions of flowers every day without forcing the buds.  Let this be a reminder not to be forceful with those you care about, but to simply give them enough light and love, and an opportunity to grow naturally.

Ultimately, how far you go in life depends on your willingness to be helpful to the young, respectful to the aged, tender with the hurt, supportive of the striving, and tolerant of those who are weaker or stronger than the majority.  Because we wear many hats throughout the course of our lives, at some point in your life you will have been all of these people, and the same is true for your friends.

6.  Friends who support each other’s growth.

No human being is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.

Healthy friendships always move in the direction of personal growth: for the relationship as a whole and for each individual in it.  A desire to impede the growth of the other for one’s personal comfort is an expression of fear.

When you connect with a true friend, this person helps you find the best in yourself.  In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth.

7.  Friends who tell the truth.

Subconsciously, many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths.  But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.  Friendships based on lies always die young.

Lying is a cumulative process too.  So be careful.  What starts as a small, seemingly innocent lie (possibly even with the intention of not hurting anyone) quickly spirals into a mounting fairytale where the biggest factor preventing you from sharing the truth is the unwanted reputation of being known as a liar.

Don’t do this.  Don’t hide behind lies. Deal with the truth, learn the lessons, endure the consequences of reality, and move your friendship forward.

8.  Friends who are tolerant of each other’s inevitable mood swings.

Giving your friends the space to save face, and not taking things personally, when they’re occasionally upset, cranky or having a bad day is a priceless gift.

Truth be told, what others say and do is often based entirely on their own self-reflection.  When a friend who is angry and upset speaks to you, and you nevertheless remain very present and continue to treat them with kindness and respect, you place yourself in a position of great power.  You become a means for the situation to be graciously diffused and healed.

My grandmother once told me, “When somebody backs themselves into a corner, look the other way until they get themselves out; and then act as though it never happened.”  Allowing a friend to save face in this way, and not reminding them of what they already know is not their most intelligent behavior, is an act of great kindness.  This is possible when you realize that people behave in such ways because they are in a place of momentary suffering.  People react to their own thoughts and feelings and their behavior often has nothing directly to do with you.

9.  Friends who work out their issues with each other, not with others.

This may seem obvious, but these days it’s worth mentioning:  NEVER post negatively about a friend on social media.  Fourteen-year-old school kids post negatively about their friends on social media.  It’s a catty way to get attention and vent, when the emotionally healthy response is to talk your grievances over with them directly when the time is right.

Don’t fall into the trap of getting others on your side either, because healthy friendships only have one side – it’s called mutual respect.

Furthermore, friendships and their intricacies don’t always make sense, especially from the outside.  So don’t let outsiders run your friendship for you.  If you’re having an issue with a friend, work it out with THEM and no one else.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

10.  Friends who are faithful from a distance.

Sometimes life puts geographic barriers between you and a good friend.  But growing apart geographically doesn’t change the fact that for a long time you two grew side by side; your roots will always be tangled.  Knowing this, embracing it, and making the best of it… that’s a clear sign of true friendship.

In the end, this ‘true’ kind of friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.

The floor is yours…

In your experience, what helps create a happy, long-lasting friendship?  Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts with the community

Teacher Stuff

6 Jun

http://www.weareteachers.com/blogs/post/2015/05/18/my-top-5-organizational-hacks-for-teaching-high-school-(loveteach-edition)

Maybe I might use this too

http://www.weareteachers.com/blogs/post/2015/05/27/10-super-innovative-teacher-ideas-for-close-reading

Why Teachers Quit

http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/05/the-ongoing-struggle-of-teacher-retention/394211/

Juicing When Your Tummy Hurts

6 Jun

Taken from: http://juicing-for-health.com/stop-diarrhea.html

Stop diarrhea or halve the recovery time, by knowing what to eat and what to avoid.

UNDERSTANDING DIARRHEA

From time to time, every one of us will encounter diarrhea. This is our body’s natural way of ridding itself of toxins and unclean foreign substance that cause irritation and inflammation in the intestines.

Our intestines secrete extra fluids to dispel these foreign stuff, resulting in stomach cramps and loose, watery stools that is diarrhea.

An occasional diarrhea is not serious, but if it occurs more than two days, see the doctor at once to prevent dehydration. More importantly, to rule out a more serious under-lying medical problem.



The foods you eat when you have diarrhea can prolong or shorten the duration of your diarrhea. Eat the right stuff and it will halve the recovery time.

CAUSES OF DIARRHEA

The most common causes of diarrhea are gastrointestinal bacterial, viral and parasitic infections. Other causes are diseases such as diabetes, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, diverticulitis and HIV.

Allergies and food sensitivities can also trigger diarrhea. Two main culprit of diarrhea are very often, sugar and milk. Sugar contains a substance called “sorbitol”, a natural sugar substitute that can also be found in fruits, especially in apples, cherries, pears and plums.

Most adults are (cow’s) milk intolerant. Milk is a common cause of diarrhea for people of all ages, including infants. The inability to digest milk sugar (lactose) and the pathogens and allergens in milk, the offending substances, are to be avoided.

DIET SUGGESTIONS

Most people don’t eat when they have diarrhea, to “let the bowel rest”. Don’t!! It is important to continue eating, and eat the right food. And what are the right foods?

The best cure for diarrhea is not ‘clear liquids’ (e.g. chicken broth) as is often recommended, but starchy ‘cloudy’ fluids. Some examples are rice porridge (congee), carrot/pumpkin soups, coconut water or unsweetened baby rice cereal with a pinch of salt.



Eat frequently, and slowly. Do not gulp during this time of distress as it may complicate matters by causing nausea.

Avoid anything with sugar, including fruit juices! Other foods that can aggravate diarrhea: beans, cabbage, onions, some vegetables, whole grain cereals, dairy products (except yogurt), caffeine and diluted soups.

One other healthful food you should take during this time is yogurt. Yogurt is especially effective in stopping or lessening diarrhea (but not for infants). The active beneficial bacteria such as lactobacillus, acidophilus, bifidus and bulgaricus, produces an antimicrobial substance that kills or stops the bad bacteria from multiplying.

RECOMMENDED HEALING FOODS TO STOP DIARRHEA

Carrot

Celery

Spinach

Beetroot

Lotusroot

Jicama

Fennel

Celeriac

Cranberries

Blueberries

Banana

Ginger root

When you have diarrhea, fruit juices are generally not recommended, except for the few suggested above.  Carrot juices is very mild and calming to the stomach, making it suitable for consumption when you have diarrhea. The alkaline minerals, calcium and magnesium in carrots help soothe and tone the intestinal walls.

Root vegetable juices are very healing for diarrhea as well as they have antiseptic properties that are necessary for calming the digestive system. Raw juices of lotusroots, jicama, fennel and celeriac are all beneficial for consumption during this time. Be sure to remove skins to prevent juice contamination.

Eat bananas for its calming effect on the stomach. It normalizes colonic functions in the large intestine by absorbing water during diarrhea, and helps regulate proper bowel movements.

The sodium in celery has a high concentration of organic alkaline minerals and is calming to the digestive system during diarrhea. It also helps to replace the lost minerals through repeated diarrhea. As in constipation, spinach juice cleans the digestive tract by removing the toxins and nourishes the intestines and tone up its functions, an excellent food during diarrhea.

Cranberries and blueberries are useful to help control and relieve diarrhea caused by alteration in the intestinal flora which allows E. coli bacteria to grow. The anti-diarrheal effect of cranberry juice is due to its antiseptic properties, as well as to its content in tannins and anthocyanins which prevent the bacteria from adhering to the intestinal walls and then grow and proliferate.

Ginger is antiseptic and may help remove offending bacteria that are causing the diarrhea.  Put a small slice in the recommended juice for that added medicinal virtues.

Some Suggested Combos (measurement for one portion):

  • 2 carrots + 6 ribs of celery
  • 2 carrots + a bunch of spinach + 1-inch of ginger root
  • 4 ribs of celery + 1 bulb of fennel + 1 bunch of spinach
  • 1 medium-sized beetroot + 1 large jicama + 1-inch of ginger root
  • 2 carrots + 6-inches section of lotusroot
  • 1 bulb of fennel + 1 cup cranberries + 1 cup blueberries

Videos of Laura Sobrino’s funeral

3 Jun

The video’s that you see below are breath taking. Laura Sobrino had her funeral and final farewell on Monday and several videos are popping up all over my facebeook newsfeed. Unfortunately, some are only visible on FB and I cannot post them here. However, here are 2 videos I found on youtube. There are mariachi musicians from all over. Cindy Reifler in the pink suit, the always smiling violin player who helped start Mariachi Reyna de Los Angeles. The ladies of Mariachi Mujer 2000 who was Laura’s group. Founding members of Mariachi Sol de Mexico. Rebecca Gonzalez who was the original first female musician in a professional mariachi group in the US along with Laura. The three members of Trio Ellas who were super close to Laura. Not seen in these videos is the “Ave Maria” played with Laura’s violin by Suemy from Trio Ellas and then sung majestically by Juan Mendoza El Tariacuri, nephew of Amalia Mendoza and a fellow judge from a local mariachi competition.

See if this video works too: https://www.facebook.com/MariachiMujer2000/videos/vb.192373644114417/1031356556882784/?type=2&theater